This is probably the hardest entry I have had to write. Recently it has come to my attention there are websites out there that have a particular way of bashing people and fashion bloggers. I was on about five pages of this website trying to fathom who the hell would talk about me since, I am not that important ( neither are the people writing it)
I was up very late last night because I couldn’t sleep. I had been in the midst of a very dark time in my life. I wont discuss that in this entry. I feel that I need to address a few things within my own blog from that blog. So here it goes:
Here are a few samples of the things that have been personally said about me.
“Was trying to figure out who styled in the heartland reminded me of….. Mimi from the Drew Carey show. She also looks like she needs a really good wash. Or maybe it’s the clothes that need a good wash. Not sure” Her instagram is even worse.
“I appreciate Miss FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy) giving no fucks but unfortunately that isn’t enough to get me to read. This girl looks dirty (as in, unclean) and is she ESL? Her writing is jacked up. If she’s not ESL then she’s just stupid, and I can’t jive with that. To instead of too? C’mon now.
“I want her to GOMI (Get Off My Internet) Fast. FAST”!
“What the hell is going on with her hair?! It looks like a toddler hairstyle in a beauty pageant, what a freakin mess!!!! Whoever this girl is, she needs to watch some tutorials on youtube and learn how to curl her hair. YUCK!!!”
“Pants can be really hard to fit when you have a fupa (actually given the prevalence of camel toe in fashion blogging, they’re just hard to fit in general) but skirts and dresses are great for disguising and preventing moose knuckle. I want to be friends with this girl so I can show her my secrets”
“I kinda feel sorry for this woman. I thought she was a teenager, but she says she’s 27. I guess I must be bored because I read her rambling about how she lost her temp to hire job, how she has to go on food stamps but then goes on to explain why/how she has a LV bag. The poor writing was painful to read through”
“Urrgh I hate these so-close-but-ruined-absolutely outfits. Minus the random gold heart and plus come concealer and this outfit would be fine”
“I just want take “Styled in the Heartland” under my wing. I read her blog post about being discouraged and it just pulled my heartstrings. Part of me feels she’s trying hard to do something she enjoys and she doesn’t seem to have much in her life that gives her joy. She doesn’t seem to have any positive role models or encourage influences in her life (or doesn’t acknowledge them). It wouldn’t surprise me to find out she has some LD or other special needs. (For the record here: I am not now, nor have I EVER been special needs person. I worked with special needs people a year ago. I am very far from them. I am a normal FUNCTIONING adult. That isn’t a funny comment AT all. It’s downright false. The other part of me wants to tell her to suck it up buttercup; if people tell you your writing is crap, maybe at least check your spelling, capitalize “I” when used as first person singular, and try reading your post aloud before posting. How did she graduate from college? She seems caught in what seems to be every millennial dream of making it big/getting rich on a blog. It’s okay to do this as a hobby, kiddo, but don’t base your life goals and self esteem on it. Set some goals, value yourself more (wash hair), ) improve your skills, etc. The world just doesn’t beat down doors like it does in the movies. Sorry for the rant. I just can’t read her without feeling sadz”.
- I realized that when I started this blog, over a year ago. I realized I would give up my rights to privacy. I am not afraid to share with others the demons I have dealt with in the past. I realize that there would be comments made that weren’t so “nice”. Granted that this is the Internet and all. I never thought by sharing my fashion ideas, which I would be giving up my “privacy”. My goal was to just to share the struggles I have been going through. It was also a goal of mine to just share thrifted fashion to show you what kind of of options are out there for people of other sizes.
- There was a lot of talk on this blog about my weight. Weight has always been an issue for me. I have never been skinny. In my family everyone else is a big person. I lost a lot of weight two years ago. I try to do the best I can because I cannot just change the way I look. It’s hard enough having the world tell you; you aren’t good enough. I want to make a remark also on my style. The people that were saying “Color Blind Grandma who dives out of a goodwill dumpster”. I have to ask you as a reader do you think this? I have always loved the idea of second hand clothing. When you may look at a second hand store you might think to yourself to quote a Mean Girls quote “That is the ugliest effing skirt ever.” You don’t see the possibilities like I do. I never set out to dress like modern women, because I don’t like what modern plus size women dress. The style for plus size women has always been really boring in my opinion. When I was sixteen I began to develop the pattern of finding different things that no one else was interested in wearing and make them all of my own. Some people may not like how I look, or dress but that’s me. I can’t just decide that’s its not good enough. I look at fashion blogs a lot or read fashion blogs. The style on a lot of those girls is really cute. It simply just won’t work for me.
- Pointing out another thing that was discussed on this website was my writing skills. Right now, I am using an editor to help me write. Granted in the past I started up this fashion blog not really knowing what I would get my self into. I have always struggled with writing. Currently in school right now I am working with a tutor to help, not only to learn technical writing but also to help me achieve where I want to be successfully. I understand that is not an excuse in the past, but it is the honest truth about where I am coming from. I do have borderline Attention Deficit Disorder. I am a very slow learner, that is a very factor that does hinder me from a lot of things. In my former education, I did a lot of writing but it wasn’t so concerned on the technical side of it. I worked with a tutor throughout my four years of education but it wasn’t easy it probably wont ever be easy.
- The other thing that was discussed the fact that I own a Louis Vuitton and my temp job and other things like that. Let me discuss something here, the reason I decided to go back to school was to help me find a new career. I went to school for four years and I didn’t really find a career. I worked hard very hard for my BFA. If you have never been to art school you do NOT know the amount of work it does take to attain that Bachelors of Fine Arts. So forth, I had a choice, so I took it to get another education. This summer I decided I wanted to try out a temporary agency. I originally was hired on till November but once again, my ADD came into an effect I couldn’t keep up with all the changes being made so fast. (Being thrown in the work after only 5 days of crammed training) They let me go. About a month later they let everyone else go because there was no work left for the “line” of business. I returned to school this fall, to keep studying marketing and web design. I have a passion for marketing I never knew I had, I really do enjoy it and all it has to offer.
- Now about my purses, I do own quite a bit of designer bags. Here’s the thing a lot of them have come from second hand stores. In 2006 I purchased a Gucci bag from my local salvation army in Moline Illinois. Since then I have become addicted to finding awesome deals on designer stuff. My LV came from Craigslist (yes you heard that right). I looked at the bag and I sent images to an authenticator. The bag was a genuine Louis Vuitton Alama . At the time I had a really good job, which I was working regularly. I purchased that for only $286.00, I was very happy with my purchase.
- I Am not a going to sit and here and contest to the fact that those of you on the Internet have ripped me down. Calling me dirty and disgusting. I have a few things to add to that. When it comes to smiling I don’t smile a lot. I don’t like how my face looks when I smile. I attempt to make serious faces. As for the dirty part, I do however shower and I do bathe on a daily basis. The images you are referring to, it was over 90 degrees out side when those were shot. I was sweating pretty badly. My hair naturally looked bad. My hair is naturally curly; I straighten my hair and give it that pieced messy look. I have always liked that sort of hair do.
- I never set out to collect sympathy for people on my blog at all. I simply just found it to be my creative space to be Alex. I take all the things people say as constructive criticism. I realize my writing is terrible. That for which I am improving. I realized that my photography skills are not what they used to even when I did receive that BFA in photography. I’m no longer a professional in that business anymore. I just ordered a new lens to help me with better photography and to do better on my images. For how I dress, I can’t change that. I’ve always had the freedom of expression on my side, and if you are telling me that my clothes don’t fit me, be in my body and feel the things I do with the frustration of finding clothes that you like.
This post in a lot of ways not only let me open up in my situations. I am firmly working towards goals that I have for this blog. Including better images, better writing and being more elegant in my styling. I struggled not to lash out on a lot of these that were being said. It simply broke my heart to see these people tear away at very successful others who are the nicest people in this industry.
My focus is to educate you how you can make those 1990’s outfits work for you. I really totally believe that when I see Salvation Army I see not only people’s rejects but also a wild possibility of items that you can make-work for you. This fashion industry is tough to be in it really is. I have learned that if you let the negativity affect the person you are its going to really tear you down. I felt that this post was a necessary post to clear up the things that were being said. I never thought in two months of time I would be growing as much as I am. I see this is a wonderful opportunity to meet others and talk to them about their Ideas of fashion. Granted I am not in rewards style, or on Glam Media. I am at least trying to improve in every aspect I can. I always don’t know trends, or what is cool these days but I know what I like and I try to share that with you the reader. I don’t read magazines however I feel, as I should to gain more knowledge on trends to help me more commercial. These are all aspects that I am willing to improve upon!
I hope that in this entry, you can understand that I look at negativity in two ways. One way was to gain a better understanding about how I need to improve on a lot of things. I didn’t start blogging seriously since May of 2014. The hurt and the negativity comments, only fuel my fire to do better. I have heard a lot of what people are saying all my life. Although I don’t want to say what happened after I read the comments, but to quote something has been said to me since that time of me reading the negative and very hateful comments. From a friend “You can not simply just change who you are or your style. If people are taking the time out to comment they must be genuinely interested. These people are telling you are a special needs person, they don’t know the core of your soul. Remember that Christ has formed you in the way that He wanted for His purposes”.
I have to personally remember that I am using what I can bring to the table. Thinking out side of the box for fashion, rather you like it or not. I am who I am, although the negativity does hurt and the comments are very raw and emotional. I focus towards the future. I focus from here on out , doing better. .
I will remain to only get better from here on out. Know that, Jesus loves you and sees you for who you are and what you will become.