The Close of 2018.

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It has been a lifetime since I have written in this blog, well more than a lifetime has gone.

I wanted to take some time and write to an old familiar friend my blog, the one thing I think that has remained non – judgmental in my life. It’s almost New Years can you believe that? I certainly can’t believe that another year has gone. Two thousand eighteen has sure been a complicated and very confusing year for me.

Let’s explore the reasons why I am not overly thrilled about 2018.

Last year I was unemployed for most of the year, I have always had difficulty finding a job. I owe alot in school loans and its hard for me. I interview and interview and its just been tough. Others get lucky in some areas, well sadly I have had no luck. I am sure the right job will come around. Currently, I am right now working another temp job. I am very grateful.

During my time unemployed I became very depressed and very hopeless. As I often have felt doubts about depression, throughout my life, (it’s a genetic/ family/ history/ feeling too), I would stay up all night and sleep all day. I have very little interaction with people minus my online friends (on Instagram). I would go to stores like the grocery store and feel anxious because people would talk to me (say hello, etc.). I thought here I am 31 years old, and I have failed at my life. The word “Failure” has such a strong sense in my brain. A former friend once told me “You’re parents help you out at everything in you’re like what do you have to worry about?”. There’s a lot I have to worry. Often I have felt that I let my parents down, that I again “Failed” (there’s that old ugly word). For now, though before I spill my total heart, I have a job. I’m living the best way I can the best way I know how to.

During the time I was unemployed, my dad whom I owe alot too thought I should try the “trades” such as (electrical, carpentry and such others). My Dad works as a trade instructor (been in the trades since the 1980s). First off it’s hard for a woman to get hired in the trades first off. Its hard also without having zero construction in the past. I previously worked with a contractor doing some small jobs but nothing significant. I got hired by a company to be an apprentice (which means the low -end of the totem pole). The state of Iowa (non-union) requires me to go to school for four years (Log 365 classroom hours and 8000 work hours pass a test, and you’re licensed). So here I am an apprentice, and going to start classes… I had a hard time to start, and I was terrible at it. The problem with me being an electrician: I was slow, not skilled, and terrible at math. I am more of a creative person, hard-wired to be creative, and work in business.

So here I am an electrician, and I have a fall off a ladder. I fell, and a month or two later I had a Dr’s appointment, and I tore my ACL & MCL. I was going to need surgery. It was pretty bad, and It was terrible in the eyes of my company (who had been accident-free for awhile). I was not able to work for months, and when I did go back to work, I had a panic attack on a ladder and had to get down. I had some support from a local group, on Facebook, but it didn’t help me. I was doing excellent in the classes (because well according to some people “I’m a professional student”) but just one circumstance lead to the other, and it was a disaster. I ended up being let go from the job. However, it wasn’t terrible because I wasn’t making much and It was hard on my body, and some people can do it (not me). So that’s where the previous job I mentioned comes in I took a temp job.

Now you can understand where I was during my time at the electrical place. You can understand now about my knee. There however is another factor that plays into this too. Right after I had my accident the state I live in had alot of rain. I was at home in my apartment working, and I noticed water coming in my room, my other room and living room. That’s right, and my apartment flooded utterly. I had 15 mins to try to get everything up off the ground and save what I could. Doing this all with a torn knee (before surgery) was not fun. The whole weekend was a nightmare; I had to stay at the hotel 30 mins away because everything was gone. Facing homeless for a month, more money than I wanted to spend on essentials (food, toiletries, etc.). I was not the only who was flooded out, however; alot of Iowans felt the and dealt with the same things as me.
I was on the news and had received assistance from the red cross. I am utterly grateful to friends who let me stay at there house for one month, and my parents for helping me move out of my awful apartment with my landlord who was a complete slumlord asshole.

My parents and I ended up buying a trailer together. In the beginning, I was not more than thrilled being referred to as “trailer trash.” However, I need to learn to count my blessings. Its dry, safe and although we had to replace the roof right away it’s home. There are alot of bad DIY’s that the prior owners had done, but thank God for my Dad and his handy skills. We will make it/ change it/ do what we want with it. It’s home plus I got alot of great ideas from Pinterest and other sources.

Another shocking thing that seemed to happen in 2018 is that I lost my uncle to lung cancer. I am not very close to my dad’s side of the family, just because specific family dynamics have a spill in that. I have never felt accepted by my family. There are so many differences between them and me that it makes it that much more difficult.
I never really knew how sick my uncle was till it was too late. The night he died, I had my phone off, and computer off. That night I received three emails, calls and texts from my Dad letting me know its important. Now if you have followed me for a while, you know that those kinds of requests I hate (they gave me major anxiety) because when my mom died, the same thing happened. So naturally, I thought it was my grandma or grandpa, no it was my uncle. The visitation and funeral were bizarre. Lots of people I didn’t know a few I did. It was also hard because it was feeling pain with my knee (crutches) The only thing I could think of during the entire funeral was a quote I heard from Disney’s movie “Pollyanna.”

What I have to say now is very difficult for me. But it must be said. I look out to you now, and realize, of four years in this congregation, I don’t even know you. I look out to you now not as my congregation but as people, and I say to myself” how sad it is it to have missed those four years” — four years when we could have been friends. I should have been looking for the good in you, and I failed you. I apologize for this. God is forgiving, but it’s not God’s forgiveness I ask it’s yours.” ~ (Swift, 1960)

All this time, I thought why couldn’t of my family get together like a family. Why did we have to be so separate? Why couldn’t we be together as a family? It just has a lot to do with family dynamics. The sad thing is I didn’t recognize my uncle at all; cancer had eaten him away. Sure, the funeral was nicely done, and it was nice to see extended family. I was also dealing with my internal issues, about my family and trying to understand God’s reasoning here. I felt like I made peace with my aunt, who doesn’t have a high opinion of my family. I thought that I did the best I could with that situation. However, the work doesn’t seem to stop there. I took up seeing a therapist this year, to talk about all the issues I’ve faced and talking does help.

I put a lot of pressure on myself. The reason behind this is because I need to lose weight or get rid of certain toxic things in my life. The trouble is that it’s me driving me to a better me or in my head what I think can be a better me. I often thought I’d want to be famous, but I realized I couldn’t deal with fame. I have a hard enough time with my life as it is, but fame only amplifies my anxiety more. I think that 2018 was not a year to remember. With all the issues I had it just made it so much harder.

There’s a quote from a popular Christian children’s program I want to quote about mental illness and those that suffer from it. Now I’m not the best Christian sure I’ve made a lot of mistakes, said a lot of things I don’t mean and had people that would think and say otherwise, but I do the best I can)

Mr. Whitaker: There are a lot of Christians who have a hard time dealing with unanswered prayer we want God to heal in our, and problems like mental illness make it even messier for us, we like happy endings we want these people to get better and get on with our lives like good Christians. You know the story of Horatio Spafford. Eugene: He’s the one who lost all of his children in a shipwreck when he wrote the Hymn “It is Well” in response to the tragedy. Mr. Whitaker: Yes, we love that story because Spafford showed so much faith and courage because of his circumstances, but it didn’t end with the writing of the hymn. Eugene: It didn’t? Mr. Whitaker: He died in the middle east under the delusion he was the messiah Eugene: That’s terrible. Mr. Whitaker: yeah it sure is but it happened We don’t hear much about it because it sounds like Spafford somehow failed at his life. Christians who can’t cope are like poor advertising they’re embarrassing to us. It raises questions We find hard to answer. Like where is God when We become mentally ill? Where is faith? Eugene. Have you come up with the answers? Mr. Whitaker: Me, I can only speculate like everyone else. Eugene: What have you speculated? Mr. Whitaker: Only that the various forms of mental illness are very complex and not easily fixed and like any illness, God sometimes heals immediately and sometimes He takes His time. Sometimes He won’t heal at all His reasons are his own. Eugene: where does that leave us? Mr. Whitaker: Stuck with the frailty of our humanness dependent on the power on the God’s will. ~ (The Other Women)

There are a lot of things in 2018, as I wrap this up, I don’t want to think about because I had a severe panic attack looking back at this year. I have set some small goals for 2019 so far. I hope to work towards meeting them and seeing them through. I leave you with the best intentions of having a happy & safe new year.

With all my love,


Swift, D. (Writer), & Swift, D. (Director). (1960). Pollyanna [Motion Picture]. Buena Vista Distribution.

The Other Women. (n.d.). On Welcome Home. United States : T. Busteed.

How Do You Give Back to Mom

Mothers Day is always a bit hard for me. It’s not always been an easy celebratory holiday for me. My mother passed away in 1995 from a brain aneurysm.This year however I wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day in a different way. I wanted to give back to my mother! I have selected the National Brain Aneurysm Foundation to be apart of. This organization is so wonderful! They bring awareness to the Brain Aneurysm and what the symptoms and signs are.

I wanted to share these signs and factors of the brain aneurysm. It is an important cause close to my heart. I am giving back to mom this mothers day by bringing awareness. I challenge you to give back to your Mom. I am challenging you to #givebacktomom on your social media channels of something you have done for your mom this Mothers Day!

Have a great weekend!



Exploring Netflix – Documentaries You Need To Watch

DocumentariesHi there, how are you all? Now that school is over, if you are like me and you work a wonky schedule. You try to fit movies in when you can. Lots of times I enjoy listening to movies in my headphones while I write. I enjoy a lot of the times to watch documentaries. Ever since the phrase “Netflix & chill” has become popular, I’ve been exploring Netflix’s documentaries.  I’m going to give a short synopsis of each documentary I have listed here. Hopefully you will like and watch as well.


Hot Girls Wanted – This documentary is an interesting looking to armature porn world. It’s a interesting depth look into the power of the internet and how porn has an effect.  There are young girls who turn 18 everyday and they are interested in doing porn.  It follows five young women in central Florida (where most amateur porn is filmed) and the journey they have entering and exiting the business. Its a deeper look into the world that we live in, how porn affects women. This documentary looks into the power of porn and the internet.

Iris- Iris Apfel has always been one of my inspirational muses. This an interesting documentary on Iris’s life. Iris started Old World Weavers with her now late husband Carl. They designed several rooms within the White House for several presidents. Iris much later in her life was considered a style icon. This documentary explores that eccentric side of Iris and her fashion. What I personally love about this documentary its so light hearted. Iris is truly interesting and fun. It has many faces in fashion in the film you will recognize as well. The documentary speaks so much on a truly inspirational women who is stylish at 93 years of age.

Advanced Style- I discovered this film sometime ago. Advanced Style was a fashion blog started by Ari Seth Cohen. He started to photograph older women. The one thing that was different was these women had an eccentric sense of style. The different women offer up different advice on life and style. The women also share their life stories. I just adore this film. It really inspires me, that you can be anyone in this world. Life is an open interpretation. The women in this film are simply fabulous.

Bill Cunningham New York- If you know anything of fashion, you’ve probably heard of Bill Cunningham. Hes an icon in the street style fashion industry. This documentary follows Bill in his quest to find a new apartment (at the time of this film He was living at Carnegie Hall). It follows His quest to find New York style right on the street.  The film features a lot of prominent people in the fashion industry. These people discuss Bill and his work with fashion. The film focuses a lot on Bills work ethic and his long history at the NYC Times. It is an eccentric film that fills you in about a remarkable person. This one is a really good to watch, if you need inspiration.

Dior & I – This movie I was so excited for. This movie follows the illustrious house of Dior. Dior in its height was held under the reigns on Christian Dior. Ever since in the 2000’s it was lead by the infamous John Galliano. John was relinquished of the head of this throne. So enter in Raf Simons. Raf was quite popular in his role as creative director at Jill Sander. This move shows you the inside world of couture. This movie was filmed in 2012 when Raf only had 6 weeks to create a Dior Couture show for Paris Fashion Week. Everyone is anticipating Raf’s show. This film lets you inside the design process of a designer. Raf studies the workings of Christian Dior. It discusses the workings of Christian Dior and how his designs affected the fashion industry. The film goes deep into a place that is rarely seen by the public.  The film goes deep in the mind of Raf Simons and behind the closed doors of the work room at Dior. It is a very interesting film to look and to watch. If you ever want to know what it looks like to produce a fashion show this is the movie to watch.

Scatter my Ashes at Bergdorfs- this is the one film about fashion you will want to watch. This movie goes deep into the heart of Bergdorf Goodman. This is the illustrious store in New York where every designer wants to be. The film discusses the long history of Bergdorfs.  It’s an interesting look into the American retail industry. It also is an insight to fashion and designers. There are lots of people fawn over the Bergdorfs windows. The documentary discusses the retail merchandising history, ideas and construction. This an excellent film if you want to learn the history of such an iconic store.

Mademoiselle C-This documentary covers the interesting life of former Vogue Paris Editor in Chief Carine Roitfeld. This documentary talks about how Carine, left vogue to start her own magazine. Carine is a different and more edgy women in fashion. I enjoyed the documentary because its a look into what it takes to start a fashion magazine. Roitfeld has a long history in fashion. She served as a muse for Karl Lagarfeld and Tom Ford.  Carine shows us what it takes to created, edit, and promote a new fashion magazine. Its a deep look into fashion, marketing and style. Its amazing film to watch and see what Carines thought process is.

Living on one dollar- Living on one dollar follows a few men who go to a small village in Guatemala. They start living as the people of the village do on very little money. The film gives you insight to see how the rest of the world lives. It really opens your eyes to a whole new way of living. It looks deep insight to poverty in Guatemala. The men only brought a total of $56 dollars with them. You watch them learn to barter what they have in the village they stay in. The reason i loved this documentary, it opened up my eyes to the rest of the world. Some times we feel so sheltered by our world, we don’t experience the other cultures or lives. This is a really important film to watch. The producers of this film also released another film called “Salam Neighbor” which talks a lot about the Syrian Refugees. This is why this documentary is so important.

Girl Model -Girl model is an interesting look into the world of models from eastern Europe. Its a excellent look into the modeling society. The whole idea behind this movie is how we really look at a body and a face and acculturate judge who will like that body and face. Its a tale of a young girl that goes to Japan to model and her life in Japan. Its a very interesting spread on the modeling industry and what it takes!


Fast Foward from 2009 until 2017

Thoughts on Graduation:


Here we are arriving at graduation. I am not sure what to think or how to feel. I just spent the last three years of my life in school. I finally have a job to look forward to (that’s not retail). I finally have all that I hope to achieve in my adult life (a job, a place to live, some stable income).

I had hoped to have achieved this a long time ago. That never happened (life throwing’ ya lemons) I look back and reflect on the last three years. What lessons have I learned? Who do I need to thank? Who is that I became in the last three years?  Did I just become some schlep who went back to school because I couldn’t find a job with my art school degree? I keep asking myself these questions. I have been doing that all week. These things have been playing in my mind all week. In my attempt to write honestly, (and hopefully better)- I am sharing the answers.


  1. Who have I become in the last three years?

I think for me, I became someone that once again had to push hard. I speak true to myself and say, “Nothing Ever Comes Easy” (which why I have this tattooed to me). I am learning to be fiercely unapologetic to others. I have had to push out so much negative in my life. When it came to negativity about my skills, my career, my looks (all of it – and god damn those looks because that self-image thing is such a bitch). I learned to push beyond what others wanted. I had to know deep down what I wanted. (I’ve read all that bad-ass books on girl bossing and such). I knew that I wanted a job. I had to prove everyone wrong and show them I was serious. I had to take extra courses in writing to show I was committed to getting better and what I set forth to do (Marketing ahem!)  (and the writing thing I am still getting down).

I became more of my true authentic self I feel like. I started to understand that (I ramble a lot) I can use both sides of my brain to create my career. I had to realize no matter what anyone says, “I am enough” (even though majority of the time my brain doesn’t say it). That’s who I am- someone who had to push beyond the words “Never going to happen”. I once heard my friend Esther tell me the one thing I’ve always liked about you “You know who you are and You are grounded in that”.

That life is can be harder than you think. Life can throw a lot of crap your way, you just must roll with it (hell half the time I was crying at life).


  1. What lessons have I learned?

“Failure Isn’t an Option”- Corri Mcfadden

I ended up getting this quote tattooed to me; because it spoke to me so deeply. I knew when I started school I just had to find something better. I set out to study web design. That didn’t quite work out the way I had hoped. Marketing just kind of fell in my lap. My biggest fear in life is that I would end up not being able to make it in the world (and I’m hanging in there now) I knew that Failure couldn’t be an option for me I had just had to make this degree work for me. Hopefully it will.

“You are the most vital part of your creativity” –Melissa Camilleri

“YOU” is the key emphasis here. I learned that without me there was no fun creativity in blogging, school, social media whatever I choose. That “I” had to make this happen.

“When it comes to blogging FUCK all of the hate*

A few of my good blogger friends (Corri Mcfadden , Hallie Wilson, Janet Mandell,  Jennifer Worman, Natalie CraigCourtney Quinn  and Maya Mcdonaldall pushed me to come back to blogging and told me to Fuck what everyone else thinks. These ladies are some serious bad ass babes (I thank them for the words of encouragement!) Here I am trying that out again! (and ps, the people on Get Off My Internets thanks for saying some of the things you did, because I realized hey you took the time to come to my blog and read it and tell me I am fat and ugly and ps I’m still here)

“Be who God made you to be”– Dad

Dads have the best advice, don’t they? My dad has been the person that I have needed the most in the last few years. He was always there with words of advice and continues to be. God created me to be this way and I need to keep on doin’.

Who do I have to thank?

Friends- if you have someway come across with me at work, school or social media without your love and friendship-you mean the world to me. (I don’t just use that term loosely) I have always felt somewhat isolated from society so the few people I do have in my circle mean a lot.

Dad- I love you. You are the man I admire so much. You mean so much. I can’t emphasize this enough.

God- without the almighty Father the one that was there in the deep down when no one else saw the pain-You were the one. I cant and couldn’t keep going the way I was without you God. I love you.

I feel fortunate to have these experiences in the last three years. Thank you for taking some small time out to read this experience. I look forward to the future and whatever may happen and hopefully a new blog to write in the future.



With love


Holiday Travel- On The Cheap


Hi crazy coupon friends, its your crazy friend Alex here. Today i am introducing my couponing into blog.  I just traveled to Chicago two weeks ago. Today I’m gonna write about cheap travel for short and or long distances.

For me I was traveling to Chicago because of a blogger conference called Go Blog Social. I am a marketing student and used this as an opportunity to learn about branding and social media implementation.

My method of travel since I am a student had to be the cheapest possible form of travel. I knew the way to go was Mega Bus. Mega Bus I learned about when I was attending Art school. It was a the dollar bus everyone said you can travel on. Ive been traveling and using Mega Bus for a lot of my trips to short places in Iowa, Chicago and Wisconsin. I have never used Mega Bus to travel long distances.

My recent trip was only a total of 47.00. It’s really true on what they say when they say it is a cheap way to travel. I chose to book my trip on a Thursday night. The reason that I chose to do this was because of the fact it was cheaper to do so! All you do is book your reservations and then print out your confirmation reservations. It is that simple.

If you are like me you are really wanting to save money in every way possible , why don’t you book yourself an easy trip with mega bus. The great things about the bus for me in my case it stops in my hometown. I was able to meet my dad for 10 or so minutes. He brought me dinner (which was a lifesaver as i am on a budget).

The second thing that is pretty great as far as cheap travel is Grey Hound. The grey hound isn’t to0 expensive depending on where you are going. I have taken it a few times from Des Moines / Chicago or Des Moines/Davenport Iowa. The one great feature in Des Moines is the Grey Hound terminal is a small terminal. Its easy to get in an out. The bus its self is nice. They also offer free WiFi and make several stops to pick up different people.

If you are traveling long distances these are fairly easy accessible options. The holidays are coming up, so I would suggest that you book early. The reason I chose to write about buses for travel is that the city I live in has no train or no other sort of transportation besides an air port. Relatively I felt that the airport was to expensive, and i was only going a very short distance.

I hope you find these travel options easy & accessible

-Have a great week,


(*All opinions are my own and do not any shape or form reflect mega bus or grey hound*)


Go Blog Social Recap

“I’m trying to find a way”


In the past weekend –I traveled to Chicago. I needed a small place and space to clear my head for my sanity. I’ve been dealing a lot on my plate from school to work. It was nice to have a city vacation no for a little while.

This morning I was having a conversation with a friend who lives in Chicago. We were discussing all things that I have learned this past weekend. We were discussing Chicago as a place of making dreams happen. I talked how on Chicago had been a truly amazing time and growing experience when I lived there. That whenever I return back home I’m always filled with the “whys”.

This last weekend I attended another installment of Go Blog Social I always feel silly sometimes going to these things. I’m like the William Hung of blogging. Ever since GOMI I have felt like the outcast from blogging. This particular Go Blog Social featured a lot of speakers I’m truly inspired by. I mean that more than you may know.

The first speaker was Janet Mandell. Janet not only probably owns every Chanel bag I’d die to own. Janet is a business owner and has a fantastic blog that is highly successful. I was rather impressed when she talked about working with a brand. Working with a brand is a tough business. It requires a lot of skills to basically back it up. One thing I really thought that spoke to me was “Take No for answer”. Sometimes I feel that this is a hard pill to swallow. There are a lot of times you have to prove why you’re the best and that can’t always be easy. Janet is an amazing person and gave me some great advice after Go Blog Social.  She said “You can do this, be you and the rest will follow.”

One of the two keynote speakers I have always admired and followed. The first one we got to meet was Hallie Wilson (if you don’t know her you know her @ Corals + Cognacs). The one thing I totally vibe with Hallie is passion. When you find your passion you instantly know that’s it! Hallie’s story is not your “typical” blogger story. She dumped Chicago moved to NYC. While Hallie was in NYC she started attending Soul Cycle. After a few months at Soul Cycle she had this “AHA” moment! This is when she found out what her passion was. Hallie’s blog and focus shifted towards lifestyle + fashion. Hallie began to talk to us about how she auditioned for a Soul Cycle instructor, but yet didn’t make the cut. The second time around when she nailed it. Long story made pretty short is that Hallie ended up moving back to Chicago. She began working at Soul Cycle in Chicago.

I on a personal level got to talk with Hallie. I think out of all the people at Go Blog Social Hallie I think really understands me as a writer and blogger. I write this honestly with tears streaming down my face. In a world of blogging + the internet it’s really hard to find genuine people. People that really believe in you or people look at you as some dumb ass blogger. We talked after Go Blog Social was over the one thing I personally I told her was that everyone at sometimes finds themselves at a different time. In my case it was much later in life. Seemingly for Hallie it was too. I openly and honestly told her I was very grateful to meet someone that really truly understands that you have to push past all that negative mental shit.

The Third Keynote who was I was so happy to meet was Corri Mcfadden. As you may know Corri from E-drop Off, WICU + Me, and Glitter and Bubbles. Corri not only is one bad-ass boss but one of my mentors. One thing I’ve always admired about Corri is her work ethic. Corri was able to talk to us about her humble beginnings of E-drop Off, to “House of Consignment to her daughter Zelda. She talked to us a lot about what it means to be an “entrepreneur”. Corri spoke to my inner somewhat Beyoncé, (insert “the obvious two lines “Diva is a female version of a Hustler and Who Run the world: Girls ). She talked about GIRL POWER as women we empower each other. If you know Corri and have listened to herShe did it Her Way” podcast (which made me cry) is that one thing she always says “Failure isn’t an option”. The funny thing is that I realized that after GOMI and everything else that failed for me. I must make my career work for me. This is my blog, my style and my life. Corri is not only a wealth of knowledge. I was lucky to steal five moments with her afterword. We have been acquaintances for a while. I started to cry in front of her, which I felt really guilty and like a total spaz. Believe it or not this whole last year trying to figure what I need to do with this blog was incredibly confusing. Corri of course offered me the advice is that I should DO this. I can’t stop writing or believing that this is my moment and my blog. Who the fuck cares about what stupid ass internet people think? They don’t know me or who I am. Corri is one heck of lady! She has taught me so much even at Go Blog Social.


We also got to listen to Solopreneur Amanda Boelyn. That women is a dynamite wealth of knowledge. Amanda hosts the ultra-popular “She did it Her Way”. Amanda really talked to us about the podcast. The podcast has been ultra-popular since Serial. I haven’t told anyone yet but I have a new project coming with a podcast! Amanda has encouraged me to peruse it. So be on the lookout.


Go Blog Social to me has always been about meeting others + connecting. It’s not just a “blogger conference.” It’s one of those places where you make the lifelong friends. I have made some wonderful friends from Go Blog Social. People that have truly believed in me. Thank you to the creators Kat, Sara, Katelyn, and Samantha. Without you four I wouldn’t be here writing this. It was your humble words, thoughts and actions that have led to the most empowering Go Blog Social I have ever had (or at least the one where I had to hold back tears). I encourage you to check out this conference for 2016. You will meet the most empowering and faithful friends ever.


With that being said, I wish you all a great week! Thank you,


It’s been a long, long night

The farther I go, the further you get away from who we really are
I choose a different route, a different path in life
Praised by many, yet still labeled an outcast


Hi there, you are probably wondering where I have been? Why did I decide to take almost a year break from my blog. I decided to step back out of the light for awhile to take a hard look at my blog. Was this blog something I wanted to continue ? Was this something that I felt i needed to do to be creative?  I honestly felt that after a year almost away I still am unsure that I want to keep going.

One of the main reasons I originally started i chased the blog for the wrong reasons. I just wanted to be famous- which totally was the wrong reason. I didn’t want to work hard. Once I initially got over that crap I started to work at this whole blog. After everything that was plastered all over Get Off My Internets. I cracked down on how i wrote, my blog , my photos. It still didn’t click though I still didn’t feel like i was doing this whole thing right. I deeply was ashamed of myself and my blog. I am only human.. I admit putting your life on the internet wasn’t the best idea.

I wasn’t being accepted by society already due to my size. I struggled being accepted by this blogging community. I’ve taken almost close to a year off. I still consider myself a blogger. I am still struggling to keep this going or not. While I was away I Started a couponing blog and I write a gaming blog as well. I kept those going for the fun of it. I just don’t know if style or my weird sense of fashion has a place in this world.

I wanted to originally write some sappy post, but that didn’t sound OK. I wanted to write a short post. I’ve been working on my writing slowly since I’ve been gone. I’ve been working on a lot of changes in my life. If you follow me on Instagram you know that i have gotten rid of tons of junk. I have had people pushing me to donate, recycle and sell crap. It’s been a therapeutic process for me. It has been good and the best experience of my life.

I don’t know honestly if I’m going to keep posting fashion in the real world. I might use this blog for just personal writing ,or what ever. I don’t know but this weekend I’m going to GBS again. I cant wait for a vacation and to clear my head.

Until maybe next time,


It’s been a long, long night
and we’re still learning how to survive.
Will you walk with me awhile,
and see a world with brand new eyes?
We see the sights,
and we’re fighting for our lives.



Modern Day Thanksgiving

Modern-Day-ThanksgivingModern Day Pilgrim

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Modern Day Native American





I thought today I would take on a fun way to show a Modern Day Thanksgiving. I found a way to show Pilgrims and Native Americans! Let’s remember the first thanksgiving and those who came before us! Let’s celebrate Thanksgiving fashionably! There are so many great options for you to wear to your Thanksgiving dinner. ! Happy Tuesday


Giving in A Big Way #Givethanksgiving



Hi guys! Since it’s the week of #THANKSGIVING. I wanted to share some things with you i have been working on in school this term. Many of you know my passion is social media marketing. I hope to do that as soon as i am done with school. I wanted to share a close organization to my heart. I have been serving with Joppa OutReach  this last few weeks. I had previously visited Joppa last year. Joppa is a homeless outreach in Des Moines Iowa. All my adult life, I’ve wanted to work with a non-profit that fit my heart. I certainly found it within Joppa. I am currently working with Joppa to provide social media outreach. I also volunteer on Sundays doing routes within the organization You may ask what is Joppa or what does Joppa do?

  • Express Christ’s unconditional love
  • Build relationships – become like family
  • Help people stay warm, dry and healthy
  • Provide food, humanitarian aid & care
  • Respond to needs & emergencies
  • Be a voice, advocate & link to resources
  • Encourage positive steps forward
  • Provide aftercare once off the streetts

I have been really thinking about this year what i am most thankful for? Everyday this November Ive been telling my self 1-2 i am thankful for daily. I have grown so much love for the people I am currently serving with  in Joppa. My heart is so filled this weekend.  How are you giving back this weekend? What are you most thankful for? How are you serving someone else this thanksgiving? I hope that you take away some good thoughts on Monday with this!


Have a fabulous week!


My Favorite Pajams

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Hi! I am so sorry i have been missing in action. I have been so busy with school and finishing my semester (which by the way i have learned a lot). I am sorry i have been sort of non-blogging. I have just been busy plus i have had issues with my site. I wanted you to know i am back ( i am sorry to take a break). I have included some of my favorite sleepwear! I am currently in LOVE with Old Navy’s selection! I picked up this cute bear print waffle shirt last weekend! It is the warmest and coziest! I am again so sorry to take a break (please don’t forget that i have not forgot about you my readers).  Have a Happy wenesday!